Sad occasion - beautiful event:

At the "packed house" funeral for our "mate" The Ancient Mariner at Guildford Crematorium on Friday 26th March at 12.30. we heard some wonderful things about Maurice, here are a few of them.

Haydn's Eulogy

Click here for a pdf

The ON-INN was at The Percy Arms Chilworth

Tequilover's memories

A few personal memories of Maurice

My first memories are 1977(?) SH3 100th - dressed as a woman - big breasts - not his own, baloons I think?

some months / years later

I am aware of The lovely Barbara - Dinner at Chipping's (I think) and we swap bad behaviour tales:

He has run off with Barbara (his accountant), I have run off with another man's wife (but OUR daughter!).

Some time later I hear he is "Dan Dan the lavatory man" - sensitively running a business that, when needs must, he would get his hands dirty!

somewhere in here, Barbara became a Joint Master - and natuarally started attending the Official's dinner, "Other Halves" generally provide the transport but are NOT WELCOME at the event. What did Maurice do? Organise the alternative officials dinner, a much coveted event!

Maurice and Barbara would often bring "Posh" friends to Hash events, dinners, weekend trips and the like, they would sometimes be "exposed" to some of our "raunchier" side and Maurice would remember - "I 'ad er, I 'ad her .." for some months "I can't stop singing it!" he would complain!

At last - I am pronounced "mature" enough (or something) to be awarded the honour of the opposite of a naval "run-ashore" (piss-up) a "run a-sea", a voyage, a passage, a cruise, a gin and tonic - a booze cruise? - no let's be serious, ALWAYS propriety whilst sailing! Wait until we arrive!

There is the story of the "Ship the size of Battersea Power station!". Maurice goes below when it is "miles" away to encourage his prostate to perform. I am left at the helm, no idea how to even START the engine! Barb is of course below rustling up something to eat/drink and the ship is getting VERY BIG ... I think a pint will get you the rest of the story!

But the maturity doesn't last long and in cahoots with Tony, Liz, Judy and other "ne'er do wells": we receive the displeasure of "well behaved cruiser's" with songs such as ... well... "I 'ad 'er" of course! Mind you the "partying" section of the Porchester Sailing Club more than welcomed the entertainment (I think -- ?)!

Despite this fall from grace, we were still invited and we were always more than happy to accept and be inlcuded many times into the happy band of "Maurice-Men" (well "MauriceAndBarbara-Men") (well "MauriceAndBarbara-MenAndwomen"!)

Nick-names, or Hash Handles : Ancient Mariner why? He was a seaman and ... well .. old. 'nuff said? But - Hare Eater! a pint should get you the story!

Both came to Hash away days/weekends, evening doos, often with "posh" friends .... see above!

Then eventually we hear what had been troubling him for a year or so (his bile-duct) - BUT it is treat-able and he is UP FOR IT!

All bets are off, gone is the embargo on: beer and whisky, and "bad for you" food, AND the general rules of healthy life that depress the spirit, he had been strictured with for years - a bit of indulgement/indulgence, which includes my mad schemes such as doling out (his!) Rum to the RNLI charity walkers! here is a link to his take on the whole shebang. I was only trying to get 'im out of his shell!

Some time earlier I had set up to record calls ('cos tht's what I sort of do) so he can keep us all abreast of his progress:

he tell us of trips down memory lane, trips to the chemo clinic - Bloody Mary the vampire nurse, the ups , the downs!

All openly made available so we can share his journey ....

Then the gap, the scan, seems stable, And there he is a year past his "best before date"!

He asks? "you said I only hade 3 months, it's now more than a year, what's going on?"

- "Maurice: it is an AVERAGE pronosis"
What dos he say? "if I have beaten the average - what about the other poor sods?"

"OK - if that's the case I'll take the boat around Britain for charity! Can you help with the techie stuff Richard?" - Course I can! It kept him busy and enthusiastic, planning things right up to the last!

He came to see us at the Hash as often as possible, providing the "mobile whisky and coffee van" - bang on the door; "come in WHOEVER, I've got Glen Moray today". Magic !

It caught up with him, he prepared himself and us, but I am missing him!

On In - Teq.

Barbara requested no flowers please, just donations to his charity via:

www.amsab.org.uk

Contributions (in order received)

Atalanta:

A wonderful poem that was shared at a memorial service for one of the people who was killed in the 1994 Chinook helicopter crash on the Mull of Kintyre:

If I should die and leave you here awhile
Be not like others, sore undone, who keep
long vigils by the silent dust, and weep.
For my sake turn again to life and smile,
Nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do
Something to comfort other hearts than thine.
Complete these dear unfinished tasks of mine
And I; perchance may therein comfort you.

I think Maurice might share those thoughts, A true Gentleman, greatly missed.
Atalanta - On In

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Ard-Pro

Maurice will be remembered in SH3 for a long time. As we hash through the Surrey countryside think of these words from the poem attributed to Mary Elizabeth Fry :

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

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Cap'n Nemo

I visited the Ancient Mariner in Alton hospital yesterday afternoon, he was quiet, composed and smiling, with family and friends around him. I am so glad I went, and so sad to see another fine hash friend succumb to the dreaded big C. The bond of hashing and the RN was great, no more down downs for him and me for "swinging the lamp" whilst on trail!

On on

Quazimodo aka Captain Nemo

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Coolbox

Dear Maurice/AM

We will remember the many good times we spent together and your inspired decision to introduce Paul and me to one another.

A true friend, consummate Bon Viveur and loyal Hasher, you will be much missed by us all.

With much love

CBx/Diana

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Anon.

We went to see Ancient Mariner last week.
After we had been there a while two other visitors arrived, Sonya and her mother.
Maurice’s face lit up as they appeared at the door.
Later, Sonya’s mother offered to read some poetry. “
He loves poetry,” she explained, “and I think he read this one to the Hash once.
It’s got a few naughty words in it and I can’t read it to the people where I live.”

Maurice’s eyes twinkled as the old lady murmured the “naughty” words with salacious relish.

“This bloody town's a bloody cuss
No bloody trains, no bloody bus
And no one thinks of bloody us
In bloody Orkney.

The bloody folk are bloody mad
The bloody roads are bloody bad
Good night the bright is bloody sad
In bloody Orkney.

Oh bloody crows, Oh bloody rain
No bloody kerbs, no bloody drains
The council's got no bloody brains
In bloody Orkney.

The bloody things are bloody dear
A bloody bob for a bloody beer
And is it good? No bloody fear
In bloody Orkney.

The bloody dances make you smile
The bloody bands are bloody vile
It only cramps your bloody style
In bloody Orkney.

The bloody flicks are bloody old
The bloody seats are bloody cold,
You can't get in for bloody gold
In bloody Orkney.

No bloody fun, no bloody games
No bloody times. The bloody dames
Won't even give their bloody names
In bloody Orkney.

There's nothing greets your bloody eye
But bloody sea and bloody sky
Roll on demob! we bloody cry
In bloody Orkney.”

I think I can remember Maurice bestowing this bloody rhyme on us at the SH3 Christmas Party at the Freemen’s Rugby Club.

If I am wrong it was some other similar gem that captured his sardonic and slightly irreverent sense of humour. Certainly, as I read the words now they conjure up the image of the Maurice I knew and will remember. Perhaps they will do the same for others.

As we were leaving his room I apologised because we were taking Barbara away for something to eat. “I hope you don’t mind,” I said vacuously.

Maurice put his hand on my arm and responded, “I do mind.” They were his last words to me. It was said without any ire or bitterness, and although they may have been for the moment, for me they had a far deeper meaning.

Of course he minded. Whilst Maurice was facing his situation with characteristic dignity he clearly did not want to be separated from his loving wife, his family or his friends. Illness had taken its outward toll but inside Maurice was a young and vibrant man that still had so much to give.

He was too young to leave us. I share his sentiment. I DO mind.

I’m sorry. God Bless you Maurice.

On-on,

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ET

A few memories of the Ancient Mariner over the last 30 years

His first question every Sunday morning ‘How did Brentford do yesterday’. ‘Oh no, they didn’t lose again! (AM lived in Brentford in his younger days).

And still on a sporting note ‘What’s the latest England Test Match score? Somehow we managed to keep up to date during the run and occasionally we won the Ashes which sent him to the pub happy!

I’ll never forget how Barbara and Maurice queued up for seats at the crack of dawn every year for the NatWest final at Lord’s so that J.Arthur and I could turn up a couple of hours later and settle down in our ‘reserved’ seats without any effort at all-and they kept us supplied with food and red wine all day. What great friends!

I remember the early trails he laid years and years ago from the Pride of the Valley pub over the Devils Jumps. Why don’t we use that area anymore? And memorably laying a trail with Maurice in Alice Holt Forest using just a seafarer’s compass and the position of the sun – not a map or GPS in sight!

Then there was the party for the ‘ancient quartet’ (AM, FRB, Icepick and ET) to celebrate our 70 years On at the pub in Elstead in 2005 and our final re-union earlier this year for the red dress run on Valentine’s Day.

Over recent months there has always been a special welcome on a cold winter’s day into the warmth of the Matthews mobile home for a quiet yarn and a bevy or two with Maurice showing his usual cheerfulness, courage and optimism and chatting about his ambition to sail around Britain this year and raise money for cancer charities, sadly not to be but epitomising the spirit of the man.

Ancient Mariner we will miss you but we still have the memories. On On.

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J Arthur

"When I was in the Navy" a refrain often heard from Maurice as a preamble to some nautical tale of his time in the RN. Sea life was key to Maurice's life and he was keen to share it with others.

Appropriately it was on the sail training schooner Sir Winston Churchill in 1976 that we first met, he and I were watch leaders and I happen to mention this odd running club I belonged to. By early 1977 he and Barbara were running with the Surrey Hash.

He always referred to the Surrey Hash as "Family" and so it is. He was a true friend to me witty and generous, [I still have his spare golf clubs!!!] and had an enthusiasm for history, music and opera. Sadly one ambition remained unfulfilled, to sail his boat round Britain, but perhaps the planning and ambition helped him through the last difficult years and who knows even now he may be rounding the Lizard in a gentle Southwesterly under a blue sky and gentle sea.

He will be missed but not forgotten least of all ---"You stole my wife you dirty dog you can-----" well we all know the rest.

On In

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Madonna

It was all his fault!!

I remember it well, even though it was more than 10 years ago now, sitting with a drink or three on Maurice and Barbara's boat at East Cowes on the Isle of Wight as the sun went down over the yardarm, as an innocent, happy-go-lucky, single man. It was a Sailing Club rally - Maurice was a true mariner - and other sailors were having fun at my expense, trying to fix me up on a date with some Maltese lady with a moustache, a gammy leg, and who was still living in the same flat as her ex-boyfriend, all 6'4" of him - you can't make this stuff up! As the conversation moved on Maurice leaned across all conspiratorially, gave me one of his special winks, and whispered those immortal (well to me they are!) words - I know just the girl for you - an athelete - I'll fix you up!" Didn't he just!!

Because of his insistence, and the reassurance of a few encouraging words from Barbara, it wasn't that long before I trundled into the Dolphin at Betchworth for a blind date (I know what you're thinking!). I looked around for a female athelete, there were no obvious contenders. There was however a girly being chatted up by a group of men at the bar, who winked at me, slipped away and introduced herself as Diana. The rest is history - Coolbox introduced me to hashing, and all the fun and friendships that have resulted, and she joined me in sailing in the Solent, so for many years we have had two good reasons to meet up and enjoy the company of Maurice and Barbara. One regret ..... Barbara has long wanted to "buy a hat" - jesting that it was about time we get hitched. And it hasn't happened yet ...... sorry!

So you see, none of the good things that have affected our lives in such a major way would have happened without the magical touch of Ancient Mariner - he had a habit of making a difference to people's lives, and together with Barbara, well, they were just such a beautiful couple. Mind you, every time we would share a beer together, whether at the hash or on a boat, I would always remind him ...... "It's all your fault!"

Fantastic memories of a lovely man, friend, sailor and hasher, and his good nature will remain a cherished thought.

On On..............

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Little White Buss

What paths my feet have passed, and where, and why,
I have not forgotten, and what trails have lain
In my head till now; but the rain
Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh
Upon the glass and listen for reply,
And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain
For happy hashers that not again
Will shout "On-In" at midday with a cry.
Now in the spring stands the lonely tree,
Vanished birds' and leaves' returning one by one,
Making its boughs more boisterous than before:
I cannot list all that have come and gone,
I only know that summers sang in me
Many a while, and will in me sing more.

(apologies to Edna St Vincent Millay)

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12th March 2010 - Maurice had a number of visitors Wednesday, was very tired, but nevertheless said that he welcomed seeing his friends.

Alton Community Hospital (Anstey ward). Visiting times are 1400-1600 and 1800-2000.

#
I repeat AM's story when he joined the Navy as a mere slip of a boy ...
"Other blokes with names like Wood and Miller were nicknamed 'Slinger' and 'Dusty'.

Was I named 'Stanley' (Matthews)?"

"No - Jessie ! - B**s****s! "

OnOn
Teq - see this link or this for my research of the "Real Jessie Matthews" - not bad for a bird!

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10th March 2010 - Maurice is now in Alton Community Hospital. Thanks for all your good wishes.

Barbara

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4 March 2010 - Could you please let Surrey Hash know that Maurice is very ill now. He is currently in Basingstoke hospital but we are hoping he will be transferred to Alton Community hospital soon. The Macmillan nurse gives him weeks rather than months.
Barbara

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27th Apr 09 : Ancient Mariner has had another scan and has asked me to forward his note.

#### here it is #####

Hi Tequil'over

I received my latest scan result yesterday and that little old tumour is still behaving itself.
I am now becoming a little embarrased.

I raised the subject and reminded them that a year ago the prognosis was 9 months.
They very smartly corrected me and told that was an average prognosis.

So I suppose one has to spare a thought for some poor bugger!

Anyway, I should be good for another 3 months.

Can you pass the good news on please?

Stay alive.

Maurice

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The latest call (29-01-09) is on the "Maurice Tapes" list. Here he is with his Korean War medal on Remembrance Day.