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Report 1475
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A CUNNING LEFT HANDER LEFT THE YOUNGSTERS STANDING
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In the play "A Resounding Tinkle" the characters are waiting for a visit from Uncle George. There is a punctual knock and in comes a beautiful woman. "Oh," they say, "It's our Uncle George! You've changed sex"; and then they get on with their business. In the same way the hash took in its stride the metamorphosis of the Great White Whale into a female eagle; whether the excellence of the trail had his hallmark remains therefore moot.
A possible clue: many of the checks were solved by older hashers, such as Icepyck and your scribe. Doug the Tub, not yet in that age group, was heard to describe the solutions as difficult. But as a counter-clue: Eric was also to the fore. Indeed, as the RA noted, the first three up Hydon's Ball were your scribe, The Retard, and der Schwanz; a fat lot of good that did us... We solved the check, followed flour faithfully, and found a dozen or more hounds ahead of us hightailing it for home.
When we were in, Hans's GPS said we had run 5 and a bit miles in 1hr 40mins. Which gives us an average speed of 3mph, a mildly brisk walking pace; somehow this feels implausible. All right, the checks were ingenious and varied; but if you go charging up and down looking for flour, surely that counts as distance done? Arfur was right to give Hans a down-down for his use of such an instrument. As in effect a bystander, this was the sum of her talk; TO was called in to do the rest. He awarded the returner Charlie a drink; now, this worthy believes that in his day hash handles were almost unknown, and that he never had one. He now becomes Golden Balls, as follows: (a) for the design on the mini-skirt he was hashing in (b) in reference to the shape and colour of his cranium (c) in honour of Hydon's Ball, and (d) because, unlike Ardon P, he really is in the same league as Atalanta.
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FRB got a drink for predicting - too soon, but correctly - that we would climb the Ball. Little enough percipience in that you may say; we always climb the Ball when we visit the Merry Harriers. (That signpost needs re-painting; but at least it shows that following a hunt trail is done on foot). TO's amazon re-appeared early in the trail, astonishing us all by her courtesy; only Piercy perceived that her remarks were ironic. Apparently it is the bizarre practice for local riders to sweep up sawdust trails; somehow the mind boggles. How? On horseback? Why?Well now, you will all receive a free T-shirt soon - it is hoped at the Japanese hash on 3rd August - which you are to wear not for hashing but at work or when shoppping or on any other occasion you appear in public, to publicise the great 1500th event in the New Year.
The design was selected by the GM, blind from the set of entries; the winner is too modest or too diffident for me publish the name...(Or put in other terms, who would wish to boast of a design which appealed to our GM blind?)
You will not find the ad for A Midsummer Night's Dream overleaf; Thursday 31st July at 7 pm. 01372 454907
Back to this report. The hares have every reason to feel proud of their trail, but also to wonder why our numbers were so low. Where are you all? In pre-hash days it was held that humans were obsessed by sex and by death; but now that we can hash, such thinking has been superseded, we have a better, a finer obsession, which we can only enjoy to the full if all put in an appearance. Summer holidays are all very well, but get in your full stint before you start!
ON ON FRB
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