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Report 1447
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This was one of those days when most of those involved forgot what they are meant to do. At the very first check the pack proved incapable of finding the solution, or the hares too impatient to allow them to do so.... Who ever heard of a hare calling the ON!ON! at the first check? Nor was this the only time it happened....Stilton was heard to say sadly "Again!" when J. Arthur showed the pack where to go. The remainder of the forgetting you will find at the Circle, if this narrative holds your attention that long (and I as one of the Onsex do not forget what I am meant to write...)
Before we began our Uncle Gerry commented that the hares could not go wrong in this ideal and idyllic area (well, the language is mine, as you may infer, but the thought was his. Oh yes, he does think!) Unfortunately his remark did not apply to himself or those weak enough to follow him; with the Circle well over and the hash back in their chariots on their way to the pub, GG was seen coming in, on blacktop, from entirely the wrong direction, with a weary retinue (Lord Raleigh, Mrs G, Sister Anna, the Great White Whale, and I forget the others). On black! GG himself, the implacable enemy of tarmacadam, on a trail which had absolutely no black! How are the mighty fallen!
Well, we ran a right hander, as was apparent after the first check. But these hares know their onions; they lulled the front runners into the belief that at all checks the solution lay to the immediate right, and then started doing things differently. Unless I am doing them too much justice; perhaps we just changed from one hare's trail to another's? The scenery was admirable, as we have come to expect from this region, but so was the weather, which, given the last few weeks, was much more than we had any right to expect. The checks succeeded in keeping the pack as together as can ever be hoped; well, with an exception. The GM....
Shagger and SBJ, virtually incapable of arriving on time, were found on trail and ahead of us after several checks. Ask Ear Trumpet how that happened....
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Thereafter I at least did not see them again, and sure enough with everyone (bar the GG bunch) long back at the bucket, the Onsex were again toying with the idea of taking over. And then who should come in with a sheepish grin but the GM? So he was able, or so we thought, to take his own Circle.
However, repeated absences and a fast-fading intellect meant that he had little idea of what to do. So he began with an imitation (not a very convincing one) of an RA, attempting to list sinners but getting caught up in constant repetitions of his New Year Resolution theme. Then he called for visitors and virgins... So we had to remind him he had forgotten the hares, standing patiently beside him in the hope that all this blather might lead somewhere, and in particular to their getting a down-down.....
In came Popeye. To give him his due, the real RA had not forgotten what his role entails, but his first sinner had. Kaffir was checking alongside Popeye (yes, yes, at times Popeye was actually on trail today); and Kaffir had no recollection of what checking is meant to be. He complained therefore that there was no flour in sight... There would also have been a down-down for Silent Knight, who had arrived at 1205, asserted that he was only 5 minutes late, and that he would soon catch us all up.... Well, yes, Silent K is a good deal faster than most of us; but not quite that fast. So he was still out there when his down-down was called. Super came in for a drink; I forget why, but certainly Guildford - notably Super and Dissa - called as many solutions as the hares today, with some imaginative front running. (One joker who lives in the area was meant to solve even more, but did not, and drove off before the Circle and before anyone could identify him). We did have 3 visitors, including Strong Muscle Bitch - did I hear this aright? - who certainly knew what the bottom of a mug looks like; and Moonwalker, who drinks only lemonade this year, and so was given an empty mug...
A fine start to the New Year!
ON ON! FRB.
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