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Report 1443
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At least it was not actually freezing,, though it felt like it; nor did it rain, or not much. For all that this was one of the greyest coldest saddest wettest Sunday mornings I can remember. On another day the trail might have seemed interesting or even attractive; the hares have a good understanding of tactics and strategy, and used their best endeavours to impress us by their originality over fairly familiar terrain. But the weather was against them; what we got was mud, damp, gloom, slither and squelch. So well and away the best moment was the stop for Dutch spirits; with mince pies and other sweetmeats. Thank you hares!
For the rest, we found our own fun. Birds for example. All Teetotal's swans proved to be geese. Tequil'over did or did not hear a nightingale; at least then his mind and his ears were open. For his pains he was barged into a fence by Ardon Provocateur; no, I don't know why. Does anyone have any notion of how to explain AP's behaviour? Does anyone care?
After the spirits-stop the most energetic front runners vanished entirely, with the Pied Piper and Atalanta in hot pursuit of Ponce: well, whatever turns them on.... This left Puffer, the Nice Maiden and FRB to re-solve all the checks, in splendid - or absurd - isolation; three is rather few for an independent and self-contained hash.... In fact however the trail just did a lengthy loop, scorned by the discerning who accepted the SCB route home; Popeye's excuse was that he was helping the Knitting Circle. As if! Our Knitting Circle - who were indeed out in force today - manage perfectly well without such adventitious aids. In the end about half the pack did the full trail, which I suppose on such a day is something to be proud of.
And guess who took charge of the circle? None other than the Ancient Mariner, whom God preserve.
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Let this preserving not last too long though; when it comes to making speeches in the circle even Grand Mutt Bert would do better. At least he made it brief, unlike our Grand Master's bizarre rambling grandiloquence. Then in came Tequil'over to denounce Spingo and Chunderous for some misdemeanour - I think a predilection for blacktop. We drank the health of two visitors (by their behaviour from East Grinstead, but they ran well) and allowed Popeye to do his stuff. Scud was called in, chiefly I think for his singular costume, which included at least three forms of headgear. Then Marigold, because Popeye now knows the difference between her and Marjorie (modern sex education has a long way to go); but also because she had kept her feet clean, which on that trail was barely credible. Hare Eater acknowledged that the knickers Popeye was brandishing were indeed hers, though she had no recollection of losing them... Last weekend's event must have been memorable. The Pied Piper for refusing to clamber over barbed wire, a doctrine denounced by Popeye as heretical. Ponce joined the sinners because he had pleaded not be given a down-down on the grounds that he had seen the light and was now sober; I regret to report that the Circle now disintegrated into the vulgarity of a pub brawl. This must have dismayed our East Grinstead visitors, who know that Surrey never behave like that....
As I hope is now apparent, the foul weather did not really spoil the fun or interfere with seasonal good will....
ON ON FRB
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