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Report 1458
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MEAN WHAT YOU SAY!
SAY WHAT YOU MEAN!
MAGNA EST VERITAS!
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To how many of us does it occur that much of our hash experience is verbal? I do not mean cries of On On! - I wish I did! - but the harangues of GM and of RA, even, heaven help us, this newsletter. Words, words, words, as the man said. Now, recent misuse of words should make us wary ; not merely obvious examples, like "pre-emptive self defence" to mean aggression, which even a child can read, but more subtle uses. Thus "French intransigence" means "How irritating that the smaller nations have found a bulwark against bullying, bluster and blackmail from Washington!". The challenge to us as hashers is to spot examples of our own misuse of words and phrases.
In this I do not count the ancient maunderings of the Ancient Mariner, who with no trace of irony asserted that Velcro had kept all the pack together. Since we all knew this to be patently untrue, the twitterings of a mind long switched off from reality, no one was deceived or even surprised.
The surprise,quite to the contrary ,was the bad behaviour of the pack.... The whole point of hashing is to get as hot, tired, dirty and thirsty as the hare permits; "Exhaustion to Excess!" is our slogan. So how come that when the "front" runners reached the pub they found three quarters of the pack already there, having abandoned all that scenery, all those checks, to creep pusillanimously home? Just because you know where the pub is doesn't mean you go there when all that lovely flour is still beckoning! Shame, a deep and everlasting shame on them all!
It is not as if it was just ordinary flour either, though that would not have been an excuse; no, we had a sweetly pretty pink flour, chosen I suppose in case we were confused by all that snow we had 6 months ago....
The trail was a successful combination of all the many trails we have run from this pub.
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An ingenious feint kept concealed the usual start from the church, sending us round in an elaborate loop to get there,
and then we ran a right hander, making extensive use, or threatened use, of the Walton Heath Golf Club. The checking was not helped by a shocking indolence on the part of the pack, who just stood round chattering at every check circle; this said, the hare perhaps over-reached herself once or twice with the distance of the new flour from the circle, and even, assisted by her spear-carrier Lunch Box, had to help us find the solutions.... The last part, as I can assure the majority who had no share in it, was the best, and included finding Fish&Chips strolling calmly along in front of the hard men puffing and panting to keep up with her. And also Tequil'Over with Chunderous, drawing on local knowledge with some confidence.
Back to my main theme, the use of words. (Just imagine, the masters of Guantanamo Bay bleating about misuse of the Geneva Conventions!) The sign at our pub shows a massive dray; the dictionary gives a cockhorse as "a child's toy or imaginary horse". I once began a piece of doggerel "Ride a cock? Coarse! Spade words make her cross Why set a fine lady on her high horse?" - this meaning she did not like obscenities or profanities, "calling a spade a spade". Readers who have noticed the rarity of such intrusions in these columns are encouraged to comment..... and to offer their own explanations of the name Cockhorse.
ON ON FRB
Officials etc trying to book a bedroom for 4th April must do so with the GM, not the hotel.
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More Pictures here! (soon)